She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
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I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
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Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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