Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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