Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
