I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
