Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
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