I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
