we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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