I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
its not stalking. its research.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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