I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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