He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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