you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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