playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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