Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
