just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize