At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
