wat bout pragnant strippers??
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize