but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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