WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.