I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM