just tell him i said nine months
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward