just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM