oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he was CRYING into my vagina
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
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Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.