I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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