how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
