what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
