I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
