I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
