this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
