He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wanna passion pit in your ass
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
