im drinking this country out of the recession.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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