Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
