is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize