I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
