normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
