in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
