After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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