think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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