There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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