he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
