I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I could make wine with my vomit
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
