i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
