I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so let's talk penis.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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