So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Randomize
