I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
nutella sex= disaster
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
