as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I am naked and annoyed.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
