I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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