Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Help me help you realize you are a moron
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
