There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
