Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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