I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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