is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My vagina just recognized that song.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
