i dont even know how to be here
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
