This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
