they need to just BURY HIM!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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