Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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