You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
