You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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