she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
