you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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