Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
